“Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.”
Comte de Bussy-Rabutin
There's so much on my mind that I want to share with you all today. Where to begin...
Today is my first day in the office after a mid-winter break. The kids were off of school for President's Day on Monday, and yesterday too. I stayed home with them, knowing I could work harder today and the rest of the week to make up for it.
One of my favorite bloggers, Sarah from Clover Lane, has a semi-regular feature called "Ordinary Days"--just a snippet of life in her family of eight. I think it might be inspired by Katrina Kenison's memoir The Gift of an Ordinary Day, which I highly recommend reading.
For me, these four-day weekends at home with my kids are the most EXTRA-ordinary of days. The very best of my life. We didn't do anything earth-shattering. We barely left the house. But it was memorable. Seeing Griffin complete (five days early!) his book report on the life of Benjamin Franklin made me glow with pride. Bringing up from the basement Bela's little kitchen and seeing how much fun she had making pretend smoothies filled me with my own delight.
Now for you doubters. There was plenty of down-time. Normal life still happened. There was sibling squabbling and too much screen time (for all of us as I escaped into Facebook posts and pinning). But the comfort I feel after a few days at home, unscheduled, is what the purpose of our home should be.
I also happened to find something yesterday, like a gem amidst rocks, that was the answer I'd been looking for. Because since the start of this year, I've been asking myself "why am I doing this??" Why am I sharing our home, our lives, and our messy closets with people I don't even know. But then I found an article about Simple Mom founder Tsh Oxenreider. If you are not familiar with Simple Mom, it is a mini-empire composed of bloggers writing on a range of interesting subjects.
She started it all as a hobby after being diagnosed with depression. This bit resonated with me, I guess, because I'm not so thrilled that when I go home tonight there will be no homework to help with and no "smoothies" to pretend to drink. Our house will be unnaturally quiet until Sunday at lunchtime.
Caveat: I am not depressed, but I did start this blog at the end of the worst of times. The second year of divorce--and shared custody--was the hardest for me, I think, looking back. It's like the analogy of holding a glass of water. For a little while, it's no big deal. You hold it, and eventually it feels heavy but that makes you feel strong. Then you start to kind of wish something was underneath your arm, holding it up, besides air and grim willpower. Then it starts to slosh and spill, and you have to figure out what the heck to do with that glass.
So this blog, stupid as it may sometimes seem, is my hobby. It's sort of fun. More importantly, it's my way of proving to myself that I have overcome the sadness of this situation. I am divorced. I made a poor choice by marrying a man who did not share my values, and now I live with the repercussions. But every day is also a chance to live more in line with what I know to be right, and that is GOOD. It's not an ideal life, for sure, but we are thriving.
Also, it strikes me as funny that I started a blog about home improvement as a DIY for my psyche. :)
For those of you less comfortable with these touchy-feely posts (and I'm right there with ya), I'll post about something decor-related tomorrow. Just wanted to get this monkey (of why I'm writing this dumb little blog) off my back...
I am now starting year 4 of shared custody. For whatever reason when I re-read this before I posted it, I didn't see that as confusing, but now it does seem unclear. Maybe I should have written that year 3 was also kind of stinky?? I don't know. Make of it what you will, dear readers.
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